Well, being as how I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY 'Oh how sweet it is' I attended only the finest schools growing up. All of which included Public School 206, and I.S.14, also known as 'Shellbank,' where the lovely scent of project-homes and urination polluted the air, and the sounds of piercing gun shots and disputing spouses made me feel extremely safe. Unfortunately, I emerged from the streets of New York before I was able to attend Sheepshead Bay high school, where the most honorable scholars derive from. In which case, I was delivered to that little, tiny spec, located right below the obnoxious red star on the map provided above, the one that no one cares about. That spec is called Bayville, New Jersey. Again, it's more than obvious that my father wanted nothing but the best for me. Bayville was a dream come true. I had loyal friends, I attended a prestigious school, and had a heart-warming family. Ok, ok, I had friends that each secretly had their own little private death wish for me, a school over-flowing with teachers plotting revenge on the students who reminded them of their own pathetic high-school years, and a father who seemed like he belonged on an episode of "COPS." But after the longest four years of my life, I was on my way to Miami, Florida. As much as I could hardly stand the thought of ever leaving Hick-Ville, New Jersey, I had to. Finally, I exceeded my expectations of going nowhere in life, and enrolled in Johnson & Wales University. I was sure that my grades would be lower than the soil beneath my feet, and my alcohol consumption level would be at it's highest, but as fate may have it, I dropped out before I could reach those pinnacles. Because I absolutely refuse to stay put, I did move out of Miami, but my current location shall remain unknown. Take it from me, it's just as
phenomenal as all the other living enviornments I'd been dealt in the past.
